Um, can I get a re-write???

Today, I am grateful for... Shelby Grace My FANTASTIC friends! My job Hearing that something I said made a difference in another person's day :)Shelby enjoyed her first day of middle school and loved cross country practice, even though it was in the rain! Laughter My new cube at work - it's finally coming together and looking like "home" :) Payday is Monday! Shelby's pink hair! It's been another couple of challenging weeks. Same old stuff, nothing new. Or if there was something new, it ran together with everything else, just like the days do now! Love, :) mb xoxo

I've had enough! I got paid today, but the money is all gone. I had to pay the sitter yesterday ($120) and the mortgage and then gave $211.27 to ComEd to avoid disconnection on Monday. Tomorrow we go to the dentist. Thank goodness I have a debit card for my flexible spending! The dentist is at least an hour away, so we have plans to go to Red Robin and meet Kim, Joe & Sean there. I have money to buy us lunch, but that's it! Then, there's the shoes I have to buy Shelby because she joined Cross Country & it starts on the 24th! My next paycheck is at the end of the month and by then the car payment will be a month behind as well! I don't like saying this, but WHY ME??????? Why is it that the sperm donor can get away with living with his mother at 40, falling behind over $6,000 in support and still have money to freaking drink & smoke his life away? I'm tired of the bad stuff happening. I'm TIRED of people around me, who treat me and my child like shit,...

So, this week was pretty blah. I had a sore throat and ended up going home early on Wednesday and stayed home on Thursday. Then , my network connection to work and then my internet connection went down for hours on Friday! Grrrrrr! I think "blah" is a pretty good way to describe the week. I got an invitation to a first birthday party for a relative. I thought, sure, we'll go. Then I see BYOB written on there. I wanted to think it was Bring Your Own Beverage, but I felt compelled to ask. The response I got was "Bring Your Own Booze". I really have an issue about people who feel the need to bring ALCOHOL to a birthday party for a toddler. On top of that, one of the parents isn't even of legal drinking age AND both parents are in recovery (12-step, AA stuff). I just don't get it! I mean, talk about slippery slopes! I made a choice years ago not to drink. I based that decision on my belief that addiction is a hereditary trait and since about 95% of my famil...

Ahhhhh, I really feel like I never get time to just decompress. There's always something going on! Before I go to bed, I want to point out some of the good stuff from this week. Shelby My freaking AWESOME friends! My job Finally going to church and enjoying myself! Having a really nice meal with friends who I haven't spent time with in a long time. Shelby saying "okay" several times when, in the past, she would not have been so "go with the flow". My baby is growing up! Going to Sam's Club to stock up on the important stuff. I have no money now, but won't need to worry about restocking for many months now! Being able to take Shelby to Target and use a gift card to make a big dent in buying new school clothes for Shelby (think pink, green & plaid!) Thank you Mr. King! Laughter Hugs & kisses from my sweet Shelby Making up my "list of work to do on the house" - and some of it just might get done! Being alive! Love & sweet dreams. x...

Today, I am grateful for... Shelby Mr. King aka Traci's Dad Traci (duh!) Kim Trusting my instincts My wonderful job All of my friends Laughter Not strangling my child in Jewel today (okay, I only thought about it for a millisecond) Hugs and kisses from same child The ability to stand on my own two feet Indoor plumbing The internet Reconnecting with yet another angel from my time in MN :) Cell phones You! On a more serious note, I've added a button on the right "Praying for Stellan". This baby boy and his whole family have captured my heart! If you click on the picture, it will take you to Stellan's Mom's blog. Her strength and faith amaze me! I know not everyone prays, but please, whatever you do, keep them in your thoughts. With love and gratitude, :) mb xo

I say pfffffffffffffffffffffffffffft to all the haters out there, and to those of you who pretend I don't exist. Is it "pretend we don't see her and maybe she'll disappear"???? This summer hasn't been fun, really at all. I have a pre-teen who is going through wonderful, unpredictable mood swings. I am not liking my life right now. Parts of my life I can change. Others, I just have to ride out. I twisted my ankle on July 3rd. I ignored it. It didn't get better. I finally went to the orthopaedic doctor and he wiggled my foot around and told me what a bad girl I am and then said I have to wear a brace for six weeks to allow the grade (or is it level) 2 sprain to heal. I hate asking for help, can you tell? Yesterday, I went for another sleep study. They wanted to try out a CPAP on me. It was HORRIBLE! I slept for maybe 2 hours and after that I was screwed. They even tried a different mask type and finally at 4am, they cut me loose because they knew how misera...

These pictures were taken in March of 2008. The first shot is the northwest corner of my front yard. The second is the west edge of my property, through which a "river" runs. Fast forward to January 2009 when Shelby ice skated in the yard! On to March when things warm up a little... And May where the water is starting to rise and creep south toward the house. There's our much missed Teddy Bear wandering toward the lake, er yard. Oh, our lovely Mallard Duck couple. Yes, this is in our front yard. I know we live in Wonder Lake (called "Wonder Tuckey" by the haters), but who the hell decided it was okay to toss a tire in our front yard??? Ahhh, summer in redneck country! I wonder what that nasty green stuff is. It's like a bunch of green confetti, but slimy! Shelby frog hunting in June! That night, more rain... If it's dark, it's standing water. June 18th, the water rises up to the house! Today, July 19th, now a stream and a marsh???? Looking no...