Um, can I get a re-write???

Letting go is hard.  Yeah, stating the obvious aren't I?  Well, it is hard dammit!! I am trying to let go.  I need to let go.  In order to move on (do I want to move on?) I must let go.  I think I'm scared of allowing myself to be vulnerable again. I suppose I should work on that. Today, I am grateful for: Shelby My awesome friends Having a job I love Indoor plumbing School starts next week! Sunshine I walked over 6 miles this week! Woo hooo!   Coco has a minor tear in her ACL :( We're trying medicine first and hoping that she doesn't need surgery!! Shelby & Me today (man I need color LOL!)  Love & blessings my friends!! 

It sure is AND I am officially the mother of a teenager now!  YIKES!!!!! There is reall nothing to talk about... No really, not much.  So, I'll share some gratitude with you! FIVE EFFING YEARS CANCER FREE BABY!!!! Shelby Wilbur Coco My amazing friends (I love you SO very much!) Sunshine (I miss you so!) Generic Zyrtec! My job (and fantastic boss who knows nothing about this blog) Surviving over a month in the same house as a teenage girl Being able to keep on going! Speaking of going... I have dipped my toe back into the dating waters. No date(s) yet, but thinking about it. Okay, there is one thing that I would LOVE to talk (brag) about, but I can't.  All I can say is that my kid is the AWESOMEST kid and friend ever!  I'm  hoping that I will be able to elaborate sometime in the future.  But, until then, I am so proud that my daughter is BRAVE and stood up for others who couldn't stand up for themselves.  My kid's got cajones!  woot...

I am slowly starting to consider to accept that Bill may be gone for good... It's hard.  Really hard.  I know that I am going to get through this.  I've been through worse, way worse.  I know that.  It's just been a LONG time since I ever considered forever with a man, and I really thought I found the one . I'm still not sleeping well.  But I'll get there, I know that. It's Spring Break time for Shelby.  She's going with my mom for a mani-pedi tomorrow (I am so jealous!).  I'm taking Wednesday through Friday off.  My six month scans are this weekend.  Hopefully we'll have nice weather so we (me, Shelby & her friend Allie) can have a good time in Chicago after my loooooong MRI & chest x-ray.  Oh oh oh, if my results show that I'm NED, that makes FIVE YEARS! Then, I'll only have to go once a year... I can handle that.  Much easier than cancer, that's for sure! Okay, I'm going to work on finding things to be grateful...

Hi :) How are you? I'm doing better than I could've ever imagined!  So good, it's kind of scary, but I'm walking through my fear!! I've met someone special.  I mean VERY special!  His name is Bill.  I'd post a picture of us, but I'll ask his permission first.  Not that I think he'd mind.  He is AMAZING!  Yeah, I know I sound like a school girl.  Too bad.  Deal with it people!  I've always heard people say "you know when you know".  Well, I know !  I know that some of my friends are concerned, because they  love me.  Only time will show them what I already know.  I'm near tears just writing this.  He makes me so happy!  When he's not here, I miss him.  Not a "oh my God, I wonder where he is or what he's doing" miss him, silly people.  A something is missing miss him, as in life is just that much better when he is around miss him.  Shelby & I spent Christmas with his family & i...

Wow, it's been weeks since my last post.  I know, you missed me right? ;o)~ Where to start.... How about I had my six month post-op checkup and was officially down 73 pounds and Dr. Heydari said if I stayed exactly where I'm at, my surgery is a success!  Yay!  Last time I weighed myself, I was down to 142 pounds!  Dr. H and I agree that going below 130, I'd probably look a little silly.  He said I shouldn't change a thing that I'm doing.  I've tried not to. What else... hmmmmm, I have been dating someone.  We'll call him D.  We had originally met months ago on POF and then I met B and told him that I was going to focus on B, only for B to freak out and say I was too good (whatever!) So, then there were a few  men that I was chatting with, and D came back into the picture.  He was so sweet and I could imagine him adoring me!  After our first date, he said something like "if you're going to see other men, you're not going to see me...