Um, can I get a re-write???

It sure is AND I am officially the mother of a teenager now!  YIKES!!!!! There is reall nothing to talk about... No really, not much.  So, I'll share some gratitude with you! FIVE EFFING YEARS CANCER FREE BABY!!!! Shelby Wilbur Coco My amazing friends (I love you SO very much!) Sunshine (I miss you so!) Generic Zyrtec! My job (and fantastic boss who knows nothing about this blog) Surviving over a month in the same house as a teenage girl Being able to keep on going! Speaking of going... I have dipped my toe back into the dating waters. No date(s) yet, but thinking about it. Okay, there is one thing that I would LOVE to talk (brag) about, but I can't.  All I can say is that my kid is the AWESOMEST kid and friend ever!  I'm  hoping that I will be able to elaborate sometime in the future.  But, until then, I am so proud that my daughter is BRAVE and stood up for others who couldn't stand up for themselves.  My kid's got cajones!  woot...

What is  s canxiety?  It's the anxious, nervous, stressed out feeling that creeps up before scan time.  I used to have to go in for a long MRI & chest x-ray every three months, then after three years I graduated to every six months for the last two years.  Tomorrow I am going to Chicago (Northwestern Memorial) for my MRI & chest x-ray.  I get the results on the 12th and if everything goes well, I should be bumped out to ANNUAL check-ups!  I had this idea in my head of how this checkup would be so different because I had someone special in my life who would hold my hand and celebrate with me.  But, he's gone away, right before the big test, and for good as far as I can tell.  I thought I had finally met Mr. Right.  The man of my dreams (okay, he snored loudly and was human), but he was my goofy man, and he made me laugh and feel safe.  This was going to be the year that we would be together and things would...

I am slowly starting to consider to accept that Bill may be gone for good... It's hard.  Really hard.  I know that I am going to get through this.  I've been through worse, way worse.  I know that.  It's just been a LONG time since I ever considered forever with a man, and I really thought I found the one . I'm still not sleeping well.  But I'll get there, I know that. It's Spring Break time for Shelby.  She's going with my mom for a mani-pedi tomorrow (I am so jealous!).  I'm taking Wednesday through Friday off.  My six month scans are this weekend.  Hopefully we'll have nice weather so we (me, Shelby & her friend Allie) can have a good time in Chicago after my loooooong MRI & chest x-ray.  Oh oh oh, if my results show that I'm NED, that makes FIVE YEARS! Then, I'll only have to go once a year... I can handle that.  Much easier than cancer, that's for sure! Okay, I'm going to work on finding things to be grateful...

It's been 24 days since I last saw Bill.  It was at the ER, Shelby was there for a fainting and asthma "episode".  I know it was hard for him to be there because of previous bad things happening in hospitals (his wife passed away at 30 years old).  Okay, so it's been 24 days.  I'm DYING.  No, not literally.  But, my heart is breaking into little tiny pieces.  We had plans.  He had plans with Shelby.  We had plans to combine our families, after fixing up my house & selling it.  I'm guessing those plans are no more.  Or, is this "normal" for a man?  I have NOT had a serious relationship in, oh, probably more than 15 years.  13 because of my fear of the wrath of the sperm donor.  I finaly meet someone special.  I mean, you saw my post.  He read it too.  He looked me in the eyes and told me that I was it for him.  My child loves him.  The dogs love him. He's gone.  He's alive.  At...

Hi :) How are you? I'm doing better than I could've ever imagined!  So good, it's kind of scary, but I'm walking through my fear!! I've met someone special.  I mean VERY special!  His name is Bill.  I'd post a picture of us, but I'll ask his permission first.  Not that I think he'd mind.  He is AMAZING!  Yeah, I know I sound like a school girl.  Too bad.  Deal with it people!  I've always heard people say "you know when you know".  Well, I know !  I know that some of my friends are concerned, because they  love me.  Only time will show them what I already know.  I'm near tears just writing this.  He makes me so happy!  When he's not here, I miss him.  Not a "oh my God, I wonder where he is or what he's doing" miss him, silly people.  A something is missing miss him, as in life is just that much better when he is around miss him.  Shelby & I spent Christmas with his family & i...

Sooooo, yeah, it’s been 3 months. Uh huh… No excuses. I mean, not even “I’m having a great time” excuses! Grrrrrr!  I am probably going to post a couple of times this week. Or at least I’m planning on it. So prepare yourselves (if there is more than one person reading this blog, that is!)  I’m down 81 pounds – WOOT WOOT!!!! I feel great! No sluggishness, I’m in a size 6-8 pants/skirts and a 12-ish on top (I’m down to a 36DD – it’s a feat if you knew me before!) I think I have a shopping problem… But then again, I need to buy new clothes; the size 20 pants & 2X-3X shirts won’t fit no matter how much cinching is going on!! LOL :) I am NOT complaining! I am enjoying looking good. So yeah, the puppy is still here. The big dog, still here. The kid, still here. Me, still here. Besides that, not much else… Oh except for the whole kid in hospital part… So, my lovely, wonderful, tween. I adore her! I can’t imagine life without her. Sometimes, I do ponder strangling her! She’s had as...

Wow, it's been weeks since my last post.  I know, you missed me right? ;o)~ Where to start.... How about I had my six month post-op checkup and was officially down 73 pounds and Dr. Heydari said if I stayed exactly where I'm at, my surgery is a success!  Yay!  Last time I weighed myself, I was down to 142 pounds!  Dr. H and I agree that going below 130, I'd probably look a little silly.  He said I shouldn't change a thing that I'm doing.  I've tried not to. What else... hmmmmm, I have been dating someone.  We'll call him D.  We had originally met months ago on POF and then I met B and told him that I was going to focus on B, only for B to freak out and say I was too good (whatever!) So, then there were a few  men that I was chatting with, and D came back into the picture.  He was so sweet and I could imagine him adoring me!  After our first date, he said something like "if you're going to see other men, you're not going to see me...