My name is Mary Beth. I am an almost 51-year-old Lovey (Grandma). Life has been a fricking roller coaster and I am TIRED!
There are lots of things I would change, re-write, if I could... Others, I would never change!
January 12, 2010
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I got a surgery date! January 12, 2010 at 11:30am!
I've had enough! I got paid today, but the money is all gone. I had to pay the sitter yesterday ($120) and the mortgage and then gave $211.27 to ComEd to avoid disconnection on Monday. Tomorrow we go to the dentist. Thank goodness I have a debit card for my flexible spending! The dentist is at least an hour away, so we have plans to go to Red Robin and meet Kim, Joe & Sean there. I have money to buy us lunch, but that's it! Then, there's the shoes I have to buy Shelby because she joined Cross Country & it starts on the 24th! My next paycheck is at the end of the month and by then the car payment will be a month behind as well! I don't like saying this, but WHY ME??????? Why is it that the sperm donor can get away with living with his mother at 40, falling behind over $6,000 in support and still have money to freaking drink & smoke his life away? I'm tired of the bad stuff happening. I'm TIRED of people around me, who treat me and my child like shit,...
A while back, I mentioned a letter telling me that life was a "solo mission". Obviously it struck a cord, because it's still playing in my head all this time later. I started going to church a couple of months ago at The Chapel in Grayslake, IL. I started in the middle of their "Kings" series and despite not attending services for the whole series, I really enjoyed the message! The new series is "Lost in Suburbia" and the theme song is "Little Boxes" which cracks me up because that's the theme song for this very cool (and very un-christian) show called " Weeds " which is about a woman who turns to selling pot to afford to stay in the community after her husband dies. Every time I hear the song play at the beginning of the service, I chuckle! Back to "Lost in Suburbia". Last night's message was about how no one is that good to go life alone. I wish they had the message posted online, but it's not there yet. Ug...
WARNING ! THIS POST CONTAINS IMAGES SOME MAY FIND OFFENSIVE !!! This is me, approximately 2 weeks before I had Shelby. I was tired, but looked pretty good for being 38 weeks pregnant! Look at my arms & legs, no fat! Shelby was born weighing 9 pounds 10 ounces and 22 1/4" long! Big baby! Please ignore the scrunchy, my hair was really, really long! This is me & Shelby. This afternoon. I weigh approximately 30 pounds more than I did the day I had Shelby! I am not at my heaviest (I've lost approximately 6 pounds recently), but I am DONE being fat! I hate it. I'm ashamed! I can't walk up a flight of stairs without being winded. I have sleep apnea. My asthma is quite bad and I'm exhausted all the time. There are so many contributing factors to my weight issues. Abuse as a child and teen, abuse from boyfriends in adulthood... Cancer and the huge surgery to get clear margins. Depression. I haven't gone on a date in forEVER and being heavy gives me a great ex...
Are you going to have a LAP or open RNY?
ReplyDeleteMy surgeon does laparoscopic for something like 95% of his patients. I am a prime candidate for laparoscopic gastric bypass. Yay me!
ReplyDelete