Um, can I get a re-write???

Testing... does this work? How does the new layout look? How about the pretty siggy? cute, huh? Thank you Traci for your help!!!!!!

I want to share with you the walk I took with Shelby Sunday evening. This is at the end of our block, isn't it beautiful?? The sun was just beginning to set... Isn't this just lovely? The sunset reflecting off the water was just gorgeous! Shelby walked to the end of the pier... for some reason, I wasn't too keen on following her. The sky was captivating! But, I did finally walk to the pier and look what I saw... Isn't she adorable ???? I bet the temperature dropped at least 15 degrees in an hours time, she was getting cold! The moon looked lovely as well. Then, Shelby said "it's too cold, I wanna go home!" and back to reality we went... Tomorrow, I turn 41. I don't feel 41. I remember when 41 was OLD ! Not anymore! 40 is the new 20!!!! So, I'm turning 21 tomorrow... right? Love & blessings to you all,

Hello Friends! Yes, I'm changing the blog layout again. I decided I needed something less PINK!! So, until Traci has time to fix the heading or show me how the heck to edit the heading template, the blog is gonna look a little bit silly. Here comes the rambling!!!! Shelby hit her head on Monday night. According to Shelby, it was all my fault! I'm going to try to explain what happened... Try to stay with me, k? I was in the bathroom combing my hair in front of the mirror. Shelby decided she just had to hang onto me like a monkey (behind me, arms around my neck). Shelby doesn't weigh 30 pounds anymore, she weighs 90 pounds and was hurting my back. I asked several times for her to let go. "No, I will never let go Mommy!" as cute as could be. I bumped her lightly with my rear and she must've let go at that exact moment and she fell backward, but sideways into the tub and smacked her head on the lip of the tub! We do not do anything half way in the O...

A while back, I mentioned a letter telling me that life was a "solo mission". Obviously it struck a cord, because it's still playing in my head all this time later. I started going to church a couple of months ago at The Chapel in Grayslake, IL. I started in the middle of their "Kings" series and despite not attending services for the whole series, I really enjoyed the message! The new series is "Lost in Suburbia" and the theme song is "Little Boxes" which cracks me up because that's the theme song for this very cool (and very un-christian) show called " Weeds " which is about a woman who turns to selling pot to afford to stay in the community after her husband dies. Every time I hear the song play at the beginning of the service, I chuckle! Back to "Lost in Suburbia". Last night's message was about how no one is that good to go life alone. I wish they had the message posted online, but it's not there yet. Ug...

I am so disappointed. It's only 9 hours every other weekend. 234 hours out of the 8760 hours in a year. But, something always "comes up". Sperm donor & his mother are mean, horrible, selfish, SICK people. They do not deserve the love that Shelby gives to them. It won't be much longer before she stops trying. She's a pretty smart kid! I am so grateful for my friends who show me & Shelby what it's like to be loved unconditionally. Thank you friends! :) xo mb

Gratitude first today: Shelby! Good Friends Laughter My job Kindness from others Payday! Okay, prayers. I'm going to try very hard to not curse much (if at all). But, I'm tellin' you it's hard tonight! I've been told so many times that my sweet Shelby will figure out, on her own, what a blankety-blank her "father" is. Well, she is figuring it out and it is breaking my heart to watch her heart break! This sucks! Today, when we were scheduling her next appointment with her counselor, I reminded her that this weekend she is supposed to see her dad. That was the first sign of trouble. She said "no it isn't!" Well, it went downhill from there. She said that she didn't like her dad or grandma. They hurt her and let her down all the time and she doesn't want to see them again. I know that isn't the case. I know she loves them. I tried to change the subject. No such luck. Here are some of the things my sweet angel said: I ...

Hi Everyone, So, what do you think of my pretty new blog layout? Cool huh? Thank you so much for your help Traci!!!!! Thanks also to Ramona the Pest who created the layout! That's her name, right Traci? Oh, Traci (hehe, you're an internet superstar now!) the header is white on my home pc.... Maybe it's the old version of IE at work??? Shhhhhhhhhhhhh! Of course, I do NOT access personal items using my work computer, that is crazy! I hope you enjoy the new pretty colors! :) xo mb

Back in May when Shelby told me that she wanted to sign up for Cross Country, I had to ask her if she understood that she would be running long distances on rough terrain . "I'm fine with that" was her response (or something like that). Okayyyyyyy Shelb! So I paid the money I didn't have and remind her that she's making a commitment and can't quit just because she's tired or changes her mind. "I know Mommy." All right then! Today was Shelby's first cross country meet (is that what they call it??) SHE DID IT! woooo hoooooooo! My honey bunny finished the race (and wasn't in last place)! I left work early. It took over 90 minutes to get there which really frustrated me, but I got there in time to park and walk forever to the finish line and take some pictures of her crossing the "finish line". I am SO happy for her! I asked how she felt, and of course she asked ( ordered ) me to go get her cold water for her and then said that she ...

WARNING ! THIS POST CONTAINS IMAGES SOME MAY FIND OFFENSIVE !!! This is me, approximately 2 weeks before I had Shelby. I was tired, but looked pretty good for being 38 weeks pregnant! Look at my arms & legs, no fat! Shelby was born weighing 9 pounds 10 ounces and 22 1/4" long! Big baby! Please ignore the scrunchy, my hair was really, really long! This is me & Shelby. This afternoon. I weigh approximately 30 pounds more than I did the day I had Shelby! I am not at my heaviest (I've lost approximately 6 pounds recently), but I am DONE being fat! I hate it. I'm ashamed! I can't walk up a flight of stairs without being winded. I have sleep apnea. My asthma is quite bad and I'm exhausted all the time. There are so many contributing factors to my weight issues. Abuse as a child and teen, abuse from boyfriends in adulthood... Cancer and the huge surgery to get clear margins. Depression. I haven't gone on a date in forEVER and being heavy gives me a great ex...

I wonder how many parents are dealing with a sick kid, within a week of school starting. UGH! I had a migraine Tuesday and stayed home, tried to work as much as possible (in between my hours in a quiet dark room). The school called 4-5 times about Shelby not feeling well. The school nurse & I decided to just send her home on the bus after school. This morning, her throat hurts. No fever, but she's making a good argument for staying home. I cave & let her stay home. As the day goes by, I think hmmmm , maybe she's not as sick as she acted earlier today... Then, she has this strange look on her face and says something about not being able to swallow. I get my handy dandy flashlight and take a look. Now, I couldn't tell you if glands are swollen, like some very talented moms, so I really have no idea what I'm looking at/for. Nothing really red, but one side is definitely swollen. Now, guess what time that was? Around 4:25, so I call the pediatrician's office rig...