Showing posts from October, 2009

It's Tuesday...

Yep, it's Tuesday and I got nothin!  Hmmmmmm...  Okay, I'm glad tomorrow is Wednesday!

I am SO excited about Thursday because I am having lunch with some wonderful friends at Bob Chinn's.  This isn't any lunch either.  It's my "Goodbye to Gluttony" lunch - tee hee!  I'm going to have a delicious filet and white rice with lots of butter and enjoy my last pig out before my surgery.  Well, I haven't gotten insurance approval yet!  I'm hoping to hear something by next week. 

I am SO READY for the next phase of my life.  This one has been really long, stressful and not fun! 

Bring on the JOY!!!!

Love & blessings to you all!!!!!

And on a lighter note...

Mwah hahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh....

We carved a pumpkin today!  Shelby named him Mr. Scarecrow.

Shelby & Mr. Scarecrow

He is kinda cute huh?

My last post wasn't meant to be a downer.  Really, it wasn't.  It was my life so far.

Thankfullly, I'm in control now and am taking the steps to make more good stuff happen and to push the bad stuff away.  It has taken a long time for me to realize "I got this baby", but now I do and this is how I roll... Honestly, with integrity, love, hope, compassion and a splash of sass!

Thank you to my friends who love me, warts and all.

I love you all so very much!!!!

Snapshot of my life.

Please note - this post contains very serious subject matter. It may be too much for some. It's been a long time coming. I'm taking a risk and hoping I've made a good choice.

While my name is Mary Elizabeth, I’ve been called Mary Beth for as long as I can remember.

My dad left for the first time (that I can remember) for another woman when I was around three years old. This happened many times. We always met the women he was with.

I’ve been told many times how I ruined my parents’ lives by being born. Not that I had any choice…

I was 10ish (maybe even younger) when my mom told me to leave and never come back… the first time.

No one believed that she did that. She laughed it off as well.

I showed my parents stash of pot to one of our babysitters (the church choir director’s son) one time. I didn’t think anything of it. I thought everyone’s parents smoked pot!

I was about 8 years old the first time I visited my aunt in the mental hospital. What do you mean that’s not normal?

Around …

One week at home with a sick kid - NOT FUN!

Well, the last week has been just lovely... okay, not really.

Shelby went to a birthday party/sleepover last Saturday.  I knew they had a cat and warned her that if her asthma acted up, I would come get her, you know the deal.  Well she must've had fun, because I didn't even get a goodnight call!  On Sunday, I went to pick her up.  She was cranky (duh, you barely sleep at sleepovers!) and had a cough.  Darn!  I told her right away that we're just going to have to steer clear of all houses with cats for now.  Her cough continued throughout the night.

Monday at 5:30am Shelby comes into my room saying she doesn't feel good.  I reach up to feel her head and swear I could've gotten a burn!  Her temp was 102.8.  I called the pediatrician as soon as they opened and they got her in for a 10:15am appointment.

Our pediatrician's are great!  Monday we saw Dr. G. she laughs at all my jokes - so of course, I love her!  She said with Shelby's history of asthma, she was goi…


Today was a long day, but I have so much to be grateful for!

Shelby (duh!) My awesome job and wonderful boss & co-workers! Wonderful friends! Email The beautiful colors of autumn I made it to my first small group on Monday - woo hoooo!
Indoor plumbing
Taking steps to a healther, happer MB (MB 2.0?)
Hearing that the bariatric center is submitting all my paperwork to the insurance company by tomorrow!  I was told to check back in with them on 10/30 if I haven't heard from them before then.
I was able to bite my tongue today (when I really wanted to let "them" have it!)

I could go on, but I'm trying to get to bed early enough so that I can take my sleep-aid so I can try to get more than 3 hours sleep tonight.

Love and blessings to you all!
Nighty night!

And the waiting begins...

On Thursday I went to my 2nd (and last) pre-op class!  Woo hooo!  I came home to a kitchen filled with paint from I could only assume an art project that Shelby decided to create in the 4 hours she was home alone.  Mind you, she is required to ask me permission when I'm home, so I'm not sure what she was thinkin...  Oh boy!

Friday, I went to see my primary care doctor for my last visit (I gained 3 pounds, stupid pms!).  Okay, probably not the last visit ever, but the last visit before she writes "the letter" that gets sent to the bariatric center and then on to the insurance company so they can consider and then approve my gastric bypass surgery.  Of course they'll approve it!  I've done EVERY SINGLE THING they've asked.  I've also got so many "co-morbidities" (asthma, joint pain, sleep apnea, reflux, barrett's esophagus, hiatal hernia) that it'd be just sad for them to deny me!

So now I wait! 

Here are the things I know for sure.  It …

Can I have a drumroll please?????

I am NED!!!!! 

(For those of you not familiar with cancer-speak
that's No Evidence of Disease!!!)


now I have a cold (go figure!)

Thanks for all the prayers and good thoughts!
Love you all!!!

Wishing I felt stronger.

It is almost 1am on Tuesday. I am exhausted. I am nauseous. I am scared. I don't know why, but this is more than my usual pre-checkup anxiety. Maybe it's all snowballed into the last 24 hours instead of a little each day for 7-10 days prior. Who knows. All I know is I feel like I'm going to puke. My head is pounding. I don't want to go to the doctor tomorrow and I'm scared that he's going to tell me the cancer is back.

No, I have no reason to think it's back. But, 3 1/2 years ago, I went in for hernia surgery and woke up hearing them talk about "the mass" and two days later I was told that I had an extremely rare form of cancer.

This year has been hell. I'm just worn out. I have wonderful friends, but they have got lives of their own. My family, well, I can't depend on them or go to them with my fears or worries. I've had to carry all of this for so long, I just want a break. A break from drama. A break from cancer and the worry that…