Um, can I get a re-write???

Hi Everyone! Are you all ready for Christmas?  I've got the gifts, just need to wrap them and just might get that done by tomorrow - yay! Let's see... Since my last post, I've gone to my pre-surgical appointment with Dr. Heydari.  He has a meeting with every person who is scheduled for a specific day at the same time.  He said normally the room is full, but he only has three surgeries scheduled for December 29th.  I'm the only gastric bypass patient.  The other two are getting the lap band.  Let me tell you, the other two ladies there were whiners!  One actually bitched and moaned about the support group meetings.  Apparently she doesn't like when people support each other and share ideas, etc. hmmmmm... that's what support group is lady!  Then, she complained about the tickets that are handed out at the beginning of each meeting.  Each person gets a ticket and then at the end of the meeting, if their number is called, they win somet...

Gratitude first today: Shelby! Good Friends Laughter My job Kindness from others Payday! Okay, prayers. I'm going to try very hard to not curse much (if at all). But, I'm tellin' you it's hard tonight! I've been told so many times that my sweet Shelby will figure out, on her own, what a blankety-blank her "father" is. Well, she is figuring it out and it is breaking my heart to watch her heart break! This sucks! Today, when we were scheduling her next appointment with her counselor, I reminded her that this weekend she is supposed to see her dad. That was the first sign of trouble. She said "no it isn't!" Well, it went downhill from there. She said that she didn't like her dad or grandma. They hurt her and let her down all the time and she doesn't want to see them again. I know that isn't the case. I know she loves them. I tried to change the subject. No such luck. Here are some of the things my sweet angel said: I ...

I've had enough! I got paid today, but the money is all gone. I had to pay the sitter yesterday ($120) and the mortgage and then gave $211.27 to ComEd to avoid disconnection on Monday. Tomorrow we go to the dentist. Thank goodness I have a debit card for my flexible spending! The dentist is at least an hour away, so we have plans to go to Red Robin and meet Kim, Joe & Sean there. I have money to buy us lunch, but that's it! Then, there's the shoes I have to buy Shelby because she joined Cross Country & it starts on the 24th! My next paycheck is at the end of the month and by then the car payment will be a month behind as well! I don't like saying this, but WHY ME??????? Why is it that the sperm donor can get away with living with his mother at 40, falling behind over $6,000 in support and still have money to freaking drink & smoke his life away? I'm tired of the bad stuff happening. I'm TIRED of people around me, who treat me and my child like shit,...

Most of you know that Shelby's father is not a very good person. For those of you who don't know, I will try to recap the last three years (as briefly as possible). I plan to go in depth some other time, when I feel like digging, but not today! In March 2006, Dana (aka sperm donor/SD) was at my house and we had an argument. He's never respected that my house is MINE and he can't just hang out or spend hours there for the hell of it. I think the argument was about Shelby's messy room and of course it was my fault. We went outside and still arguing, he was sitting in his car and I was in between the door & his front seat. He grabbed me by the throat and squeezed, and squeezed, and squeezed until I peed all over myself. As I struggled to catch my breath, he sped off. Shelby didn't see him do that, but she saw the aftermath and called her Grandma (his mother) who came over and spent probably 30-45 minutes telling me that she was sure I provoked it and that I sho...