Um, can I get a re-write???

It's been 24 days since I last saw Bill.  It was at the ER, Shelby was there for a fainting and asthma "episode".  I know it was hard for him to be there because of previous bad things happening in hospitals (his wife passed away at 30 years old).  Okay, so it's been 24 days.  I'm DYING.  No, not literally.  But, my heart is breaking into little tiny pieces.  We had plans.  He had plans with Shelby.  We had plans to combine our families, after fixing up my house & selling it.  I'm guessing those plans are no more.  Or, is this "normal" for a man?  I have NOT had a serious relationship in, oh, probably more than 15 years.  13 because of my fear of the wrath of the sperm donor.  I finaly meet someone special.  I mean, you saw my post.  He read it too.  He looked me in the eyes and told me that I was it for him.  My child loves him.  The dogs love him. He's gone.  He's alive.  At...

A while back, I mentioned a letter telling me that life was a "solo mission". Obviously it struck a cord, because it's still playing in my head all this time later. I started going to church a couple of months ago at The Chapel in Grayslake, IL. I started in the middle of their "Kings" series and despite not attending services for the whole series, I really enjoyed the message! The new series is "Lost in Suburbia" and the theme song is "Little Boxes" which cracks me up because that's the theme song for this very cool (and very un-christian) show called " Weeds " which is about a woman who turns to selling pot to afford to stay in the community after her husband dies. Every time I hear the song play at the beginning of the service, I chuckle! Back to "Lost in Suburbia". Last night's message was about how no one is that good to go life alone. I wish they had the message posted online, but it's not there yet. Ug...