Finding gratitude when my heart is aching...

I am slowly starting to consider to accept that Bill may be gone for good... It's hard.  Really hard.  I know that I am going to get through this.  I've been through worse, way worse.  I know that.  It's just been a LONG time since I ever considered forever with a man, and I really thought I found the one.

I'm still not sleeping well.  But I'll get there, I know that.

It's Spring Break time for Shelby.  She's going with my mom for a mani-pedi tomorrow (I am so jealous!).  I'm taking Wednesday through Friday off.  My six month scans are this weekend.  Hopefully we'll have nice weather so we (me, Shelby & her friend Allie) can have a good time in Chicago after my loooooong MRI & chest x-ray.  Oh oh oh, if my results show that I'm NED, that makes FIVE YEARS! Then, I'll only have to go once a year... I can handle that.  Much easier than cancer, that's for sure!

Okay, I'm going to work on finding things to be grateful every day.  With the horrible things happening all over the world, I do realize that my heartbreak isn't the worst thing that could happen.  I am just not happy about it at all dammit! I really did think I had found my forever.  Who knows, right?

Today, I am grateful for...
  • Shelby (even when she's extremely moody & teenager-ish)
  • Wilbur
  • Coco
  • Opening my heart and finding out that I am lovable.
  • My awesome friends who have lifted me up and continue to do so!
  • My friend Kevin for fixing one of my two lawnmowers so far! :)
  • My therapist Angela
  • A new roof (need a referral in IL, let me know - my roofer is FANTASTIC!)
  • Indoor plumbing (oh yes I am!!)
  • Today
  • Tomorrow
  • Y O U!!

Coco and Wilbur
Me and my new glasses

Doesn't Coco look thrilled?

Coco yawned as Shelby tried to rub her chin
Coco wasn't really  happy about the bow, but it was cute!

Love & blessings my friends...
I lost my signature for this post, so you get a plain one.
xoxo :) mb


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