Yeah, I know I have to change my age and other observations...

I turn 43 in 3 months and my blog says I'm 41.  I'm gonna wait, then ask Traci for a new whatever it's called with the correct age. 

Shelby and I are having an okay summer.  She is actually spending time with my mom twice a week.  Last week & this week, her time over there was Monday - Thursday because she took sailing lessons and is taking more swimming lessons.  She wants to start taking lifeguard classes next summer.  Pretty cool :)

I started dating someone.  He's going through a divorce.  It's weird.  I am still raw from my getting my heart broken earlier this year.  I honestly don't know if either of us is ready for a relationship.  There's a disconnect there.  I don't know why.  Maybe we're still two lost souls.  Only time will tell. 

Let's see.  Work is crazy busy.  I feel like I am always working.  I love my job.  I love the overtime pay.  I paid off my last credit card - woot woot!  But, I'm worn out.  I'm taking the week of July 4th off.  I have to.  Not sure if we'll be doing anything exciting.  But I won't be working! I really do need to shampoo the carpets.  Maybe I'll find time to do that then lol :)

Oh, yesterday was my company picnic.  It was at Great America.  This was the first time I've been to Great America in 30 years!  Wowza, is that place HUGE!  I can't ride ride, my stomach is too sensitive.  Shelby & her friend Allie went on lots and we also went to the water park.  We weren't there for more than 90 minutes, but I am RED!!! Yes, I used sunscreen.  Apparently not enough!  I'm slathering on aloe vera gel with lidocaine every couple of hours.  I am hoping I won't peel too much! 


This is pre-sunburn :)

Today is Father's Day.  What's there to say?  My father was a complete failure as a father and as a man really.  A few weeks ago, he sent me & my sister an email with a new email address, addressed to "Daughters".  This is because both of us have told him that we really don't want to speak to him.  Oh, and he didn't even bother to send Shelby an e-card or email for her 13th birthday.  That's what he would do for every one of my birthdays.  Just more evidence that he is still a FAILURE.  Even though he's never been a father, just a drunk perv, to me - I get sad when I hear that he acts as a 2nd father to my youngest brother's best friend (a female) and then I wonder if they know gross he really is.  Okay, I have issues.  No, they don't go away just because of therapy.  The one thing I can say is that my parents taught me how NOT to be.  I suppose that is a pretty damned good lesson.

SD isn't a father, but of course, finally contacted Shelby after receiving the father's day card that I picked out for her to send to him.  Only took him two months since the last time he saw her.  Loser.  I'm sorry, but really, after raising her for 13 years, putting up with the physical and psychological abuse from him & his mother, I just can't muster up any "nice".  I did talk to him today, to confirm times & where they were going (of course, only to his mom's house for dinner, since that's where he lives & she's his driver since he has no license).  He told Shelby he was going to AA.  Yeah, he was in AA when I met him, he was also drinking and using heroin & crack during that time.  Amazingly Shelby has very low expectations, so I don't think she'll be disappointed.  Me?  I just do not like him at all.  I try to remember the gift I got in Shelby.  I DO remember that.  All the time.  Sometimes though, it's not enough to make me not bristle when his name is brought up. 

Now for some gratitude!!
  • Shelby
  • My wonderful friends who take me just as I am!
  • My awesome job
  • Therapy
  • Aloe vera gel
  • Being able to keep on going, no matter what
  • Listening to & trusting my gut
  • Finding a new church, UU church in Woodstock - I feel calm there
  • Indoor plumbing
Last but not least, my friend Tracy.  She is 26 weeks pregnant.  Her water broke last week.  She didn't go into labor & is in the hospital.  She will be there until her baby girl is born.  Please pray, think good thought, send good vibes to her and her baby to keep on cooking and growing and developing!  The goal is to get her to 34 weeks (correction) August 10th and then the baby can come.  I've already told Tracy that this little girl's mission is to teach her what is really important in life, AND that she's taking after her mother and making her presence known and won't let anyone forget that she is important! LOL :)

There are many friends of mine who I don't get the chance to express to them how much they mean to me.  Okay, there is one who acts like if I told her how much she means to me, she would melt like the Wicked Witch of the West!  Yes, you Traci!

Maybe my goals for this summer should be to have fun, take better care of myself, have fun, be more spontaneous and have fun!  Can anyone teach me how to have fun???

Love you all & thanks for reading this BORING post!

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