Please pardon our dust, and other ramblings of a madwoman!
Yes, I'm changing the blog layout again. I decided I needed something less PINK!! So, until Traci has time to fix the heading or show me how the heck to edit the heading template, the blog is gonna look a little bit silly.
Here comes the rambling!!!!
Shelby hit her head on Monday night. According to Shelby, it was all my fault! I'm going to try to explain what happened... Try to stay with me, k? I was in the bathroom combing my hair in front of the mirror. Shelby decided she just had to hang onto me like a monkey (behind me, arms around my neck). Shelby doesn't weigh 30 pounds anymore, she weighs 90 pounds and was hurting my back. I asked several times for her to let go. "No, I will never let go Mommy!" as cute as could be. I bumped her lightly with my rear and she must've let go at that exact moment and she fell backward, but sideways into the tub and smacked her head on the lip of the tub! We do not do anything half way in the O'Keefe household! She cried hysterically for at least an hour and a half before finally calming down. I called the pediatrician, she told me all the things to look for. Thank goodness she didn't lose consciousness and wasn't acting any stranger than normal. The doctor told me to wake her up once before I go to bed to make sure she doesn't have a hard time getting up. She was fine. In the morning, she said she was still in a lot of pain. So we went to the pediatrician Tuesday afternoon. Diagnosis: she hit her head and it's gonna hurt for a while! Tadaaaaaaa! Apparently the medical degree made the difference because I told Shelby the same thing and it wasn't good enough!
So Wilbur (aka Willy the Wonder Dog) is a freak. The older he gets, the stranger he gets! When we had Teddy & Wilbur, Ted's food was in the kitchen, Wilbur's in the hallway. Before Ted, everything was in the kitchen. After Teddy passed, I put Wilbur's food back in the kitchen. Did he eat? NOPE! So, I put the food just outside the kitchen on the carpet (he's always been strange, getting a mouthful of food, walking into the living room dropping it on the floor & then eating a little at a time). This week, he's been acting even stranger! He gets a treat when he goes outside & takes care of business. Well, I'd give him the treat, he'd take it, walk away and I'd find it somewhere in the living room or hallway. So, I stopped giving him treats. I put the treats that he had dropped in his food bowl, figuring that he'll get hungry eventually. Tonight, he was begging like crazy. When he came in from his latest trek outside, he ate his treat, then I gave him the two that were in his bowl. Yay, he's hungry finally! Yes, but he won't eat the food out of his bowl! What the heck? He wants to eat, but can't go near the bowl! So, I pick it up, move it approximately 6 inches over and then he eats almost all the food out of the bowl! What a nut!!
I found out on Monday that my friend Lynnette was diagnosed with breast cancer. She found a lump a few weeks ago, but never told me. She knows I'm going through a lot of stuff right now and didn't want to burden me. Strangely, being there for her would've been a relief! When she told me, I felt horrible that she felt she couldn't share with me. She is terrified! I want to fix it for her. She has three children who are 18 months - six years old. Today she had a double mastectomy. Things didn't go as smoothly as they expected and the surgery took a little longer than they planned, but she is okay. I know what it's like dealing with a cancer diagnosis and treatment on my own. I never want anyone to have to go through that! I'm going to try to do everything I can to make sure that she knows she is not alone, she's loved and an army of angels are praying for her! Please, if you pray, pray for my friend Lynnette. If not, send good vibes or juju her way. Or just think good healing thoughts. Cancer SUCKS!
Speaking of cancer, my next checkup is in a little over a week. So far, I'm not too anxious, but there's time for that to change. It's just the "what ifs" that are hard to ignore. There is no cure for Liposarcoma. There isn't a magic date that I will be declared "cured". That stinks. Maybe when I only have to go in once a year, I'll feel a little less bitter ;o)
I haven't seen my therapist in a few weeks. Thank goodness I'm going to go see her next week!
Speaking of therapy... I was impressed with Mackenzie Phillips' courage on speaking about the horrible abuse she endured when she was a teen and older. True to form, the women who "loved" her sick father say he was "incapable" of doing what she spoke about. Ladies, yes he was capable and he did it. No, I don't know this personally, but they sound just like my father's 24 year old girlfriend when I spoke up about my abuse at the age of 16. She said I "asked for it". Can you believe that? They're still married. I try not to think about it too much. Being abused by a parent is the most damaging, confusing, frustrating, terrifying, and best way to screw up a person for life! It's your parent. You love them. But they have violated you. This is not something you "get over" or "forget". You can move on, but it never, ever leaves you.
There is an amazing woman, Angela Shelton, who made a documentary "Searching for Angela Shelton". She was sexually abused by her father and confronted him in the documentary. She is not afraid to tell her story and speak out against abuse. I have a magnet that says I heart Angela Shelton. She is amazing. She gives me strength when I don't feel like I have any. Thank you Angela, for being the voice of so many!
My 41st birthday is next week. I have no plans, with my family. I am having lunch on Monday at On the Border with Traci. Tuesday (my birthday) I'm having lunch with Rosa. I think maybe this weekend Shelby & I may have dinner or lunch out (if I can scrape together the money).
I can't believe October starts next week! I've already got too much going on too! On Friday, I see the credit counseling people. Gosh, I hope they can help me. Saturday (10/3) I go to Northwestern for my x-ray & MRI that takes forEVER and then Tuesday (10/6) I go back and discuss the results with my Oncologist. Then, on 10/9, I see my primary care physician for my last checkup before she writes the letter to the insurance company recommending the bypass surgery. Then, I wait, hopefully not too long for approval from the insurance company. Then I get a surgery date (my guess is early-mid November) and then my life starts over! Oh my friends and I will be going to Bob Chinn's for a "goodbye to the old MB" lunch once surgery is approved!
I told you I was going to ramble! I needed to spew!
I'm looking forward to sleeping in this weekend and going to church on Saturday (Shelby is bringing a friend)!
I am also expecting a dirt delivery. Exciting huh? The dirt coming is a wonderful gift from a generous neighbor and will aid in alleviating the flooding in our front yard. I've got pavers to build a retaining wall and a friend who will be putting that together. I just need to wait until I get paid to get the paver paste (I think that's what he said I needed to get) and then he can build the wall! After that, a new sump pit in the crawl space. I'm telling you, it's an adventure!!
Okay, enough rambling. Now for some gratitude:
- My amazing friends
- My fantastic job
- Having a roof over our head
- TV shows are back & new!
That's it for today. I think I dug deep enough for a while.
Thank you, so very much, for listening (er, reading) my friends.
Love and blessings to you all.
:) xo mb